Breaking Free from the Authenticity Trap

When I was 8, I unexpectedly won 3rd place in a citywide poetry contest as the youngest winner.

Yet, after being featured on national TV, I stopped writing poems completely.

Throughout the whole experience, I just didn’t see myself as a poet.

I had already decided who I was:

“I’m not a creative person. I’m just good at mimicking good writing.”

🪤 These days, we hear a lot about being “authentic.” But sometimes, authenticity can become a trap.

I’m not a political person → so I shouldn’t build a network.

I’m a technical person → so it feels fake to influence others.

I’ve never managed people → so I shouldn’t act confident.

🚪 But what if “authenticity” is just a snapshot of our past selves? By defining ourselves only by who we’ve been, we close off who we can become.

🔓 Instead of fixating on "being authentic" (the "how"), we should shift our attention to the "why" and "what".

What do you want - and why?

Do you want a promotion to create financial stability for your family? Do you want to engage your team because you believe in their potential? Do you need to restore confidence during uncertain times?

Once you're clear on that, then you can explore the "how". That might require stretching your definition of self. You might be surprised by how well you adapt—or you might discover through experience that certain approaches just aren’t for you.

However, the learnings won't come from just thinking and projecting. They come from doing.

***

Back then, I submitted my poems to honor my grandparents' love of poetry. Not to become a poet, but to be a loving granddaughter. I still don't see myself as a poet, but I have reclaimed my creative identity - through improv performances, writing, coaching, and business.

Authenticity isn’t about who you are today. It’s about why you do what you do—and who you choose to become.

It’s intentional leadership.